Number, please...

I love my country, but I hate my government.

Well, let me rephrase that. I LIKE my country. Sometimes the general mood and opinion of this nation weird me out, but still, I hate my government. Every time there’s an election I do my damnedest to change things. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it doesn’t.

So for any of you non-States readers, I apologize humbly and sincerely for the way our current administration is fucking things up. I’m very sorry. I had no part in that.

One big reason I hate my government is this shit they pulled (and are probably continuing to pull) with phone tapping. Here’s my big conspiracy theory.

Right before the troops got sent over to the Middle East, my brother-in-law went over to protest and was actually in Iraq for a while. During that time Argon-Man and I had some serious issues with our phones not working. And not just the cell phones. The land line was doing it, too. Either one of us would be in the middle of a call with any ordinary friend or family member, discussing absolutely nothing important, and the line would ‘clik’ and then disconnect on us. We got used to redialing people a lot.

Then, as strangely as it started, it stopped. And it magically stopped right about the time the brother-in-law came home. Nifty, huh?

We’ve since dropped the land line but kept our cell phones. Altho we’ve updated phones a couple of times over the past 4 years we’ve kept the same numbers the whole time. And everything has been fine. Until recently.

Maybe the brother-in-law is on the move. I know he’s in Palestine right now, teaching English. And every once in a while he resurfaces in the local news. But to his actual whereabouts and activities right now... no clue. There’s a bit of family tension (it’s a long story that I prefer to stay out of) so we aren’t in contact with him.

HEAR THAT, YOU FEDERAL MOTHERFUCKERS?! WE DON’T TALK TO HIM! WE HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH WHY HE’S OVER THERE NOR ARE WE CONSPIRING WITH HIM TO COMMIT ANY CRAZED, TERRORIST ACTIVITIES! SO QUIT FUCKING WITH OUR PHONES!!! I’d like, for once, to have a conversation about dinner plans with my husband without the disconnect and “Network Rejection.”

I guess I should also mention that it’s not just Argon-man and me that are currently have phone issues. My parents’ phone has been freaking out for about a year now. I should probably also mention that my mother is VERY vocal about her disapproval of our current President. We’re talking dozens of letters to the local newspaper. She does NOT hold back her opinions.

Well, everyone has been having a lot of trouble trying to call my parents’ land line. Sometimes their answering machine will kick on for the caller and the phone never even rang. Sometimes the line just disconnects. Sometimes it never even connects to begin with.

They’ve had the same phone number and phone service provider since 1970. And Bell South has been out to inspect the phones and lines several times.

Am I paranoid? Crazy? Overly suspicious? You figure it out and get back to me. I’d suggest email since the damn phones aren’t working.